The Mating Chaos.

images
In all disorders there is a secret chaos.

We understand this world very differently.

I see it as an expanse of possibilities, you as a point blank packet of facts and binaries.

I see it as an abstract, picturesque canvas, painted with a thousand colours, left in my backyard this morning, for my wild interpretation.
You see it as an object, fixed with limits of zero to infinity (mind here, I claim, that you call it an infinite limit of integration, darling it is still a limit), coloured with a thousand colours demarcating a hundred areas, left in your laboratory last night, for you to use it or discard it, do not think twice.

I see the stars, playing with the star dust in their mouths and pockets, messed up with light in the curls of their hair, clouds hanging as the chiming earrings, and pointed edges in their pants, some distance embedded in their arms, which extend them far away from my reach.
And I watch, that the stars twinkle, like the biological beating of my heart, twinkle on and off with a pause of a split second, just like the empty splits between the two knocks within my heart.
You see them as galaxies, infinite, without a starry shape, devoid of any protruding corners or edges, without acknowledging the distance between you and them, as they appear close to your pupil through the lense of a telescope. You do not see them twinkle, you say, it’s the light that refracts through the frozen layers of the past. Past that is acting like an atmosphere, which creates the illusion of star’s charming sprinkle. You believe, they just emit a continuous monotonous light, and for you such is the nature of the stardust too.  Perhaps the dust comes to earth only when the star breaks lose, and drives back home to you,in that moment you can see it’s scattered filthy dust. Otherwise it seems clean to you. Holding up a romantic nose to contain itself within the expanse it chose to create.

I see people, as the misconceived experiment of a creator who wished to mystify the treasures in the game he designed, deliberately creating people with differences and similarities, of hierarchy and misogyny, of psyche and empathy, of lust and leeching, of love and preaching, of desires and hatred, of passion and dare, of emotions and cold, of satisfaction and solitude, of greed and power, many of them, in different proportions, within different orders.
People are bound to be different and foolish, they are here to only become objects of a predecided move, subject to alteration but not obliteration. Well crafted into the instruments of fun, the sadistic creator had designed them, expecting them to act smart.
He preluded, during such an act of smartness people will make a fool of themselves, and in the act of foolishness find excuses of subjectivity. The major excuse they lay out pertains to being a human being.

I let them be, because they are heavily marred by the characteristic of such a life. I do not wish to burden them with my weighted judgment of morality and wisdom. I would rather be their earthly manipulator, who plays them, without having to trust them. But trick them into their own realisation, without having to curse them.

You see people, as a means to an end. Not as an end in themselves. They are your parasites, guinea pigs, or catalyst in your equation. They are the poisons, that require anti venom of your powerful words, as if you would resurrect their dead morals, their sleeping wisdom, their uncertain flaws, their masked salvation. Your curse and swear would melt the effigies of their superficial cognitive, and make them positivist. You curse people, as it is, and expect them to bear with your insult and in return adore you. You do not consider them as alive as yourself. Believing that the air you breathe remains different from the air they exhale. For you they don’t exist at all, if they do, they are degenerates and unfortunates.
You secretly celebrate them, as the embodiment of your own emotions.
I see ideologies as threats.
You see ideologies as weapons.

I see wilderness as a mosaic of mysteries, waiting to be explored, but not in entirety. You see wilderness as the road less travelled.

I build realities in my dreams.
You build dreams to make them come alive.

I bridge the creaks.
You bridge the carpet’s fine separations.

I seek the bigger picture.You seek the finest details.

I worry about the unsaid trails. You worry about their existence.

I talk, cut open my emotional vertebrae, let you have a look at the dried up marrow and mucus, for only to stitch it back, and feel the stream of marrow and mucus vigorously brimming again.
You talk, open up your vertebrae, hinder my vision with a blindfold, take my finger and dip it in your mucus, make me feel the depth,but before I touch its bed, you zip it close, and tell me how I soaked some of your fluid into the cells of my skin.

How I saved you, of the horrendousity of “life” brimming from your bones.

You save me, from the insecurities of not knowing what circles inside your intestine. You let me know, what a man must.
I let you see, what a man cannot.

I see order as the next big chaos.
You consider order as the next big philosophy.
Chaos for me is a ladder, not everyone can climb, not everyone can even find. For you perhaps, it is a pit.
My chaos is an escape route from your chaos.

Let them make love now and belong in each other. Similar to how we have been within each other all this while, just like the ying – yang.

Let our chaos weld together. Let our chaos mate.

Kanksshi Agarwal
– From the land of mystical hiraeth

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “The Mating Chaos.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s